I find it ironic to give up something I enjoy for over a month, so in the name of goddess I’ve decided to purposefully worship myself everyday for 40 days.Don’t forget to like my Facebook page, y’all.
Insecurities haunt us all. Most of us have at least one thing we’re self-conscious about, but has ignoring these things helped us? Embracing your insecurities can help you to be more comfortable with certain aspects of your body while helping you to see yourself as an entire being rather than separating yourself into pieces. Jen and I decided to take pictures of ourselves embracing some things we were self-conscious about. Making these “problems” or “flaws” bold and noticeable shows that we can move towards no longer caring if they’re prominent.
Whether you think embracing these flaws makes you beautiful or not, working towards not ignoring them can help you to heal from damage from bullies, self-hate, and shame.
You’re special. You’re amazing. Don’t let people tell you otherwise— and most importantly, don’t tell yourself otherwise. You deserve the best, and I’m so glad you exist. Your feelings are valid. Your experiences are important. If someone tries to defend people for treating you badly or if someone tries to deny your reality, tell them to shut up. Follow your dreams, no matter how silly you think they are. Start small if you have to. Treat yourself with kindness. If negative thoughts come into your mind, stop and replace them with positive energy. Keep on keepin’ on, I’m right here with you.
Love you forever,
My girlfriend and I made a zine last month and I’ve been meaning to share it with y’all! <3 Check out more of the pages at my Facebook page!
We made this out of an old human sexuality book from the ’70s. We ripped the shit out of it and kind of ironically centered our page themes around it. We were feeling sassy and brassy, which I think you can tell throughout the pages.
Much love, and a new post is coming soon! I’m halfway through grad school! THANK THE LAWD!
You’re ridiculous if you think joking about eating disorders is funny.
This includes: saying you tried to be anorexic to lose weight, saying less is more, telling people they should pick up an eating disorder so it would be easier to lose weight, always portraying thin people as never eating or being hungry and fat people as always eating or always being hungry, claiming you’ve been anorexic lately because you don’t have enough money to buy food.
If you are belittling or mocking the realities of disordered eating, please come over here so I can hit you over the head. Fucking quit.
I haven’t blogged in so long and I feel like it’s bringing some barrier between all of us, and I’m not okay with that! So, to update y’all on some things…
Grad school started.
I quit smoking.
Grad school is killing me.
So there it is. Yes, I quit smoking! It’s been about two weeks. Actually, two weeks tonight. Which is exciting! I did smoke one at about the halfway mark.. but it was absolutely terrible, and I completely regret it. I tried to smoke another (I give in to cravingpressure) and it was so disgusting that I only got one puff in. How did I smoke for 6 years before this?
So grad school. I’m really glad I decided to further my education, and that I had the means to do so via tons of loans that I will never pay off. Awesome, right? Either way, I’m consistently behind on my work, I sit in class feeling like a dumbass, I think I have an idea right in my head but then I can’t articulate it, and I cry at least 5 times a week. I guess that’s grad school for ya?
It seems as though some learning environments aren’t so learning rather than you don’t already know this, how could you not know this idea, shame on you. Many people do already know the ideas. Some of us though, including myself, don’t. Should we be ridiculed because of it? Should I have to feel inadequate because I 1) don’t know a word, 2) look it up in a dictionary and 3) still can’t fucking understand the word? That doesn’t make me less deserving of a chair in a classroom.
I mentioned to someone at school that I started this blog because I felt like I didn’t belong in my studies. I felt like I was ignored, silenced, and pushed to the side because of my social status, my fatness, and a few other factors. I told them that this blog has been a way for me to learn to articulate my thoughts more easily, and in ways that people can actually understand. They seemed shocked, and clearly didn’t believe anything I said.
I told them that I considered this blog to be a form of activism. They rolled their eyes and continued to explain that online activism is pointless.
I then explained that if I took just one of the messages I’ve received about someone not starving themselves or throwing up after a meal because they feel better about themselves and their bodies from something I wrote, then yes.. that is activism. That is doing something. No one can tell me that it isn’t.
So what’s the point of this post? I’m not entirely sure; I needed to articulate some things. I have been treating myself terribly the last 5 weeks— out of self-defense, out of hurt feelings, out of whatever. I think some mantras are in order.
You are deserving.
Your feelings and opinions are valid.
Your worth is not dependent on how someone views you.
Your words matter.
Can you think of others? My mind is all over the place. This post is a way for me to stop, think, digest, and sit with the moment. For the last 5 weeks I’ve been thinking of the future, thinking of how people view me and what people think of me, telling myself I’m inadequate, telling myself that I’m undeserving, and being all around fucking rude to myself. And it’s bleeding into aspects of my life other than school. This post is a way to commit to changing that shit because it’s killing my mojo.
I hope y’all noticed that I got a new, cute, totally adorable makeover in the middle of the night last night.
Lizzy is amazing and drew me perfectly after only having a few reference images. She also kindly made me FOUR different banners! I am so beyond excited to have such a cute collection that I wanted to share with you! Look at my tattoo! And my hair! And my legs! And my crown!
Make sure to check out Lizzy’s Etsy, her stuff is such high quality for so little moolah!
Come on, how CUTE CAN YOU GET?! Look at that Christmas one!
Dude in car next to me in traffic: Hey boo.
Dude: Hey girl.
Dude: Girl, you playin’ hard to get?
Dude: Hey sexy, I saw you get in your car a few blocks down, you lookin’ nice and juicy today.
Me: It would be great if you wouldn’t talk to me. Or stalk me.
Dude: Fine you fuckin’ bitch. You should be grateful I’m even talkin’ to your fat ass, dyke.
Me: Interesting how you wanted me before I turned you down. Shut the fuck up.
Okay so I was at the doctors office and looked up to see this.
Who wants to start tallying the ridiculousness?
No one has any right to comment on anyone else’s body. Other bodies are no one’s concern.
I’m tired of the good fat and the bad fat arguments. You’re a good fattie if you’re dieting or working out? You’re a bad fattie if you sit on the couch all day eating ice cream? Fuck that.
Fat bodies are constantly policed. Replace those “bad” actions above with someone who is thin and the ice cream is seen as a well deserved treat. There are plenty of thin people and fat people in this world who do all of the above actions.
Stop body policing.